Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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