Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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