Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
