Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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