I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
