is wine microwaveable?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
