That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
