I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
