Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
