i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
