So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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