he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
