hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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