she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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