Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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