remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
