Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
