I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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