He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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