What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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