Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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