she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
soo... how was my night?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
