I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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