dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize