Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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