Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
