i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
