My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
