We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
