i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
