I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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