Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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