I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
