she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
