I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im part way to drunk.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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