I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
