Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
