no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize