In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
