I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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