oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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