those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
