he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
