you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize