I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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