You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
