I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize