i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's always time for handjobs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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