I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
