it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
