i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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