OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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