Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
