no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
