What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize