Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
