brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
