it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
