I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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