no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
