Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
