If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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