Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize