suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Text me some of your sweat
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