Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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