literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
