wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
